Oracle
390 oracle items tagged as team oracle
September 26, 2014 / submitted by Francis, Germany
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #186
I've been going through a beautiful but also rather tough time this summer. My little sister developed a depression and hasn't been the same lately and although I'm positive about it and know it'll be alright again I sometimes feel guilty for departing from her because it affects me so much and it's hard finding energy every day to help her. I'm scared of being selfish! To which extent is it okay to think of my own well-being?
Thank you in advance.

What a tricky situation, Francis. As your sister didn't write to me, I'm afraid I can't advise her through you; I can only address your issue.
She's lucky to have you. How can you be selfish when you have written to me about your concern?
I don't think it's as easy as having a yardstick to measure an acceptable level of thinking of your own well-being. It's your life and it'd be pointless to be dragged down by someone else's troubles.
That said, it's natural to worry about your sister.
Unfortunately, unless your positivity transfers to her, it's not going to do much good because I'm sorry to say, you can't know it's going to be alright. I am a positive person too and believe that it can possibly be alright but she needs to work that out for herself. You can only try to help her if she is willing to accept it. There's not a lot you can do if she isn't.
You haven't mentioned your parents but it's their job to look after her so if they aren't aware of her depression, now might be the time to discuss it with them.
Your sister first needs a diagnosis from a doctor to establish whether she is depressed or just feeling down in a slump. It sounds like it's not been going on for long so maybe she's just going through a sad time.
If it's the latter without sounding harsh, try not to be an enabler. Sometimes people in this situation stay stuck there because of the attention and sympathy.
If I assume your sister wants to get better, she will need your love, understanding and encouragement. You may not be able to be with her physically every day but in today's world of technology, you'll never be that far away. Let her know you're there for her.
You can talk with her and your parents about her options and support her if she gets the help she needs but you can't fix it so there may be more tough times ahead before it can get better.
In the meantime, live your life without guilt and you can still be a great sister.
Over to you.

I have a friend that has a mental condition and often faces depressive periods. It breaks my heart every time I look at him and see in his eyes he is going through a depressive period again. But I know there's not much I can do, because he has a medical condition: I cannot prevent him to feel the way he does and I cannot make it stop.
The only thing you can do for your sister is letting her know you are there for her and doing small things (maybe something she asks you, maybe preparing some food: small but nice things). Since she has a medical condition, there is nothing you can do to avoid her suffering.

The fact that someone you love is going through such a terrible situation must be overwhelming. But it sounds like it affects you a lot and it's not selfish at all to take care of yourself too. Depression is not a battle that you can win for your sister. You cannot prevent her to feel the way she does. So taking some time apart is not bad; it doesn't mean that you are not there for her. It just means you took a minute to take a breath, to get some fresh air. You won't be able to be helpful in case your sister or your family needed something if you are not fine. And it wouldn't be helpful if your sister saw you feeling bad and associated it with her condition.
Hope it all goes well. Noelia, Argentina.


I have been through this and still go through it every single day. I don't know when exactly it's right to stop thinking about people and start thinking about myself. All I know is that you should try to divide your thoughts between you and others. Don't only think about people but also try not to make yourself all what you think about. As for your sister, I am glad you know its all going to be fine eventually. The only thing you need to know is that it will take some time so don't give up on her. If you're going through something like GCSEs or college, try to give yourself a little more time since this period of time can be very stressing. All in all, take care of yourself and make it one of (but not all) your priorities. I hope you'll be able to figure this puzzle called life out. Solaf.

I think that it's very important for you to think about your own well being. If you're a mess too, how are you going help her? I believe that depression is a very hard to go through and deal with, not only for the person that suffers it, but for those who are around as well. That angst can be kind of contagious and that it's not good for you or your sister. Allow yourself to take a breath of fresh air and disconnect. I'm going through the same thing actually, and I know it's not easy, I'm having a hard time following my own advice. I feel so useless sometimes, and I can even get so angry at my sister. I wish I could just shake it off her, but it doesn't work like that. Try to find a good balance, take care of yourself so you can be there for her as well. And as a last piece of advice, find someone you can talk to about it outside your own family, it helped me. I hope it gets better. Best, Caro.

I feel I can relate to your question, I have been on both sides of this coin. What I can tell you is it is really draining to be the person who cares for someone suffering from depression, you need to remember to care for yourself and do fun things that are just for you. Feeling guilty is a byproduct of depression, likely your sister feels guilty too and really may not want lot of attention. You may feel helpless and like you just want to make it go away but you can't. She is best helped by your support and by a trained professional counselor or mental health professional. You need to be on the look out for any sign she may bring harm to herself, be attentive and listen to what she says. Sometimes just being with someone who cares is enough support. It sounds like she is getting better but be aware it can resurface again, in fact once we have a depressive episode, chances are good it won't be our last. Be there for her, help her to look for help if she needs it. She will have good days and bad days, celebrate the good ones and ride out the bad ones. I wish you and her all the best as you deal with it, take care, Laurie.

Thinking of your own well-being should always be your first instinct, although I can understand how that can go in a different direction when dealing with a loved one's emotional problems. It is normal to feel you are not doing enough or being selfish, especially if you hold on to the belief that it is somehow in your power to get your sister out of the depression. She will walk on her journey, and you are there to accompany her - but you cannot walk this journey in her place... I don't have any advice for you, but I hope I was able to clarify the source of some of the feelings you're experiencing. Remember, you are there to help your sister (because you want to) but you must find where it is that your are 'not' in her story - and rejoice in finding out where the line is drawn between her depression and your life: you might find that your freedom lies in this. Also, keep in mind the depression hasn't taken over your sister's power, it is only a crisis and hopefully it will pass in its own time whilst making her stronger. Be happy you can be there for her in as much as you can - that you can be there for her is already a gift and I am sure she feels your presence is enough.
Lovingly, Irina from Montreal!


Of course it's ok to think of your own well-being! It's very sweet of you to be there for your sister and to support her through this difficult time. But you can't just drop everything that's going on in your own life. You must find a way to be there for her at certain times, but also continue with your own life or you'll end up getting depressed too. I'm sure your sister wouldn't want you to give up everything to be with her all day. Ask other relatives or friends to look out for her as well. You're not being selfish at all, time apart from her also gives you the chance to clear your mind. You can't really be of any help to her unless you help yourself first and keep your own life in order. Be there for her when she truly needs you, but make sure you get enough personal "me" time as well. Good luck! Amanda.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



September 26, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 2 October.

Lately I've been feeling something strange. I haven't told anyone out of fear of sounding weird or dumb. Seeing people my age (I'm 18) who are famous and very successful (such as Lorde or Harry Styles) makes me wish I could have the success or happiness that they have. I've been feeling like because I am not famous, my life won't feel as significant or awesome, and I won't be able to do all of the cool things they get to do. Have you ever felt this? I'm curious to see your answer. Thank you. Gabby, USA.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



September 19, 2014 / submitted by Aubrey, Australia
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #185
I have been through a lot of depressing stuff lately, a lot has been going wrong in my life. I don't know who I am anymore, and my personality has changed for the worse. I've been really depressed. My school life is terrible, my grades are going downhill rapidly, and I don't get on with my family, I'm the odd one out. All my friends have said they hate me now, after a false rumor was spread about me. I only ever let my feelings out in my writing and drawing, as well as when I play my guitar. I love all of Coldplay's songs, they really express how I feel a lot of the time. You see, I had a boyfriend, secretly, but my parents found out about it and are preventing me from seeing him again. I didn't get to say goodbye, or even explain why I'm not talking to him, it was all so sudden. I'm scared of what he thinks of me, but I couldn't help it. I miss him a lot in my life, he was the only person who understood me. Do you have any encouraging thoughts for me? Thank you.

Growing up can be tough. There are a lot of changes to navigate through. You sometimes have to make decisions that you don't feel ready for and life can be overwhelming. Whether it's academic or personal, when you're going through puberty, you may not be aware that your hormones are also raging. They don't help matters!
The good news is it doesn't last and that almost everyone your age will be experiencing similar things.
Kids can be cruel (oh, there's bad news - so can adults) but you don't have to put up with bullying.
Your creativity serves as an excellent outlet to expel your frustrations and unhappiness. Keep on expressing your feelings in this way but I think you need to talk to people too.
Speak to a teacher about the rumours - they should be able to help in some way. Maybe there's a school counsellor you can also make an appointment with.
Talk to your 'friends' and put your side of the story across. If they don't listen, get new friends, as they're not worth your time.
You also need to speak with your parents. They were your age once and maybe they forget that sometimes as they try to do what they think is best for you. They may find it hard to accept you're growing up. If you feel unable to discuss how you feel, write them a letter.
I think you should also write your boyfriend a letter to explain what happened but at this point, respect your parents' decision to not see him until a time you have had a conversation with them.
Tell them he's your closest friend and you'd like them to meet him. Try to appeal to their younger selves that hopefully still lie within them somewhere.
Remember, they are trying to protect you, not punish you. Talking to them about how you feel in a calm, mature manner may help them see things from your view.
If you're ever a Mum, you may understand their side one day too.
It's hard work to keep up good grades when there's other stuff going on but try hard to focus on your studies.
Sometimes when bad things happen, we see everything through negative eyes and suddenly it feels like the world is against us and everything is going wrong when in fact, it can all be fixed.
One step at a time, deal with each problem. Write a list and go through it systematically.
Things can get better but it will take effort. Don't give up.
Over to you.

I understand when you say music, writing and drawing are the things that allow you to express your feelings. I used to have a lot of problems and music was one of the things that kept me sane.

I really think it would be helpful if you considered seeking some professional help. In my case, it wasn't until I started therapy that I got to understand many of my problems, their causes, and that I was finally able to learn how to deal with them and even solve them. It takes a lot of work, because you are confronted with many things of your past, but along the way, you learn a lot about yourself: why you act in a certain way, why you see the world the way you do, why you react in a certain way sometimes. Changing for better is possible if you are committed to it and work hard for it. I also have a friend that struggles with depression (he has a medical condition), so it's very important for you to seek for help sooner than later, so you can start taking back the control of your life.
As for your parents, the only thing I can tell you is there are some periods in life when we don't understand them and they don't understand us, but that doesn't mean you don't care about each other and that your relationship is never gonna be good. I can make you sure of that. So try to understand their point of view and to objectively see what reasons they could have not to accept your boyfriend.
Hope it all goes well. Noelia, Argentina.


That is such a horrible experience to go through Aubrey, and unfortunately I understand what you are going through. Through my struggles with loneliness, isolation, family issues, and others, I have learned through it all that if you are able to keep going through pain and keep marching on, it gives you character and courage, and those things will help you through anything in life. Keep playing your guitar and drawing and writing. If you are able to find a way to turn your depression into something beautiful, it is a gift and it is a wonderful one. In my opinion, if your ex-boyfriend meant that much to you, your parents should let you two be together. Just tell them all he has done for you and a good person should understand and let love prevail. Love and happiness in your life outside of school will hopefully change your life in school for the better. So keep making beautiful things, fight for your love and just keep going on with life, and it is ok to be depressed sometimes because it shows you don't bottle up your emotions (which is really bad to do) so feel what you feel but don't let it destroy your own life. Happiness, Love, and Healing, three words to think about at the end of this. I hope you take my advice into consideration Aubrey and I wish you love, happiness, and luck in this world
Yours,
Catherine, Connecticut.

The best thing you can do now since you are suffering from depression is to seek professional help. That's the best thing you have to do right now.. You see, being depressed is really not healthy for someone it may cause harmful effects to your body, and that's the first thing that I want to advice to you. About your friends, if they believed with all the fake rumors that spreading about you, then they are not your real friends. Because, real friends don't believed in other people's words they'll believe in your words. And about your parents have you asked them why they are so against with your boyfriend? If not then asked them, I believed that parents wants only the best for their kids. And to your boyfriend, I think it's best if you'll tell him why you're not seeing him anymore so he'll know your current situation and what your parents think of him. And when he knew about it, maybe he can man up and tell your parents that he has good intentions towards you. Hope this helps. I wish you nothing but the best in the world! Love, Shaine from Philippines. Xxo

I'm sorry that you feel this way but keep your head up! At some point everyone feels lost one way or another. You are not alone even though it might seem that way. If you feel like you can't talk to anybody you know about this, I would suggest you seek counsel with a professional. It could be a psychologist or a counsellor at your school, just know that there is no shame in seeking help, it only means you are strong. Stouie.

This sounds very hard. I am not going through the same but can relate to you. Last week it seems everything came at once, very stressful and I have been very depressed too. I listened to much Coldplay during these weeks.
Please don't be too shy to ask for help. Maybe in school a teacher to trust.
If you don't feel comfort in your family anymore, ask if you can go to a boarding school or something like this.
Changing your school might be helpful.
Well I don't know your age but you could search help at a psychologist.
You play guitar and play Coldplay songs on it. Go for it, get better and better and maybe this is your chance to break out of this life you live now. If you could play in public for example.
Or in writing, maybe you could write a book.
Nothing lasts forever - neither the worse days in your life. It's hard to believe it, I know cause of self-experience.
Wish you all the best. Maren.


I understand that it is very difficult to get away from the people you love because it also happened to me, my sister also had a boyfriend in secret and when my parents knew it it punished a long time I guess it's almost the same thing that happens to you but don't let that affect you too at school advise of demonstrate you to your parents with your grades that you deserve to have more freedom in your life and maybe so they understand because you want to be with your boyfriend. If you worry that he does not know the reason why you drifted from it I think it means as happened all things and when everything had all it will be as before. Best of luck in all Aubrey a hug from Argentina on the part of Daniela.

The positive part of your story is that you realize your having some problems with your attitude, so try to make some changes. My first suggestion is to remember every good thing you have done. I'm sure you have succeed in many aspects what it means you are not a complete failure. In the case of your relationship with your family, keep in mind that they'll be there for you anytime you need them. Don't get frustrated if they don't agree with you. Just listen to them patiently, what they say might be true because parents are more experienced than we are. As we get older, we realize how true their advices and comments were. In the case of your friends, I believe that sometimes it is better to stay alone than to be with someone who doesn't trust in you. It hurts I know, it happened to me. My friends started to believe in others rather than in me. I didn't explain them anything. I just treated them like anyone else with respect. They realized by themselves that I wasn't the kind of person they thought I was and they changed their attitude. My last suggestion is to keep writing your thoughts, the good ones and the bad ones. That help you to express what you feel. Talk is a good song to listen to. It encourages me to express what I keep on my mind. Best wishes, Isabel.

I'm sorry to hear things haven't been working out the way you'd hoped lately. You're going to a rough time right now and nothing I say will make you instantly feel better, because everyone experiences moments in their lives where they feel like things are going downhill for a while. But I do know one thing though, things will get better! Trust me they will. Talk to your parents about how your boyfriend made you happy, be open and honest with them and ask them to give him a fair chance. Find the time to talk to your boyfriend and let him know what happened. Tell your friends the rumor was false, talk things out with them. There's lots of forums on the internet filled with people who also love to draw, write and play the guitar, maybe you could try talking to them and share your creativity with them. It feels good to share you're passions with others in that way and it might make you feel better too. And don't forget, you're not alone in this. Good luck! Amanda

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



September 19, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 25 September.

I've been going through a beautiful but also rather tough time this summer. My little sister developed a depression and hasn't been the same lately and although I'm positive about it and know it'll be alright again I sometimes feel guilty for departing from her because it affects me so much and it's hard finding energy every day to help her. I'm scared of being selfish! To which extent is it okay to think of my own well-being?
Thank you in advance,
Francis, Germany.


Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



September 12, 2014 / submitted by Benny, United States of America
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #184
How can I help my older brother stop smoking? He has been smoking for about 3 years and does it moderately at home. I've told my parents and they have tried to make him stop but since he is in his twenties they can't make him do anything. I find lighters and stuff when I go into his room, but I'm too scared to do anything or confront him about it. And whenever I see those commercials with lung cancer patients...
I just want to help him.
Thanks.

It's a simple answer, you can't. I'm afraid that as an adult he can make his choices - good or bad for his health, notwithstanding what his family think.
As he still lives at home with your parents, I do think that what they say should count as house rules, but he could still smoke outside so it won't solve your problem.
Don't be scared to confront your brother because it's great that you care so much. Be gentle with your approach because he could likely tell you to mind your own business and be defensive about the concern mistaking it for intrusion.
I don't see anything wrong with explaining what you're worried about but don't expect any changes. Maybe in time you brother will cone to his own conclusion that smoking is bad for your health - as well as your wallet. As an ex smoker, I'm amazed anyone can afford to smoke! Finances aside, I can also tell you that like most addictions, smoking is a hard habit to break.
If he wanted to stop my answer would be very different. I truly believe the key to stopping is wanting to stop. It has to come from your brother, as I doubt he'd stop just because someone asked / told him to but hey, you never know. Better to try to talk to him and fail than not try at all.
Over to you.

I also have my experiences with smokers. Smokers smoke because of stress or because they're addicted to it (or both). There is 1 thing you can take away: the stress. When you talk to him, stay calm. This will make it easier for both of you.
The first time you talk to him he'll probably refuse to stop. You have to accept that. Wait a while, and then confront him again. You can repeat this, but not too much. If he simply can't stop, help him search to an alternative. There are lot's of things to help people quit or to replace smoking. Cigarettes on electricity, for example, or chewing gum. Both of them are free of poison, CO, etc.
I hope this answer will hep your brother to quit.
Isabelle.


My daughter smoked so I know how you feel. I also smoked until I found ecigs. I stopped smoking cigarettes completely and since then have been dropping the nicotine level in my eliquid. I am now down to almost zero. I've introduced my daughter to ecigs and she has also stopped cigarettes. I mix my own liquids so I have complete control over the nicotine level, I mix for her too and she doesn't know yet I've been dropping her levels, she hasn't noticed the difference! My advice to you would be to maybe buy your brother one as a present and see what he thinks. He has to be ready to change though, so don't be too disappointed if he doesn't show much interest to start with, just planting the idea in his head may have to be sufficient for now. Don't pressure him, that will just annoy him, tell him how much less ecigs cost too, that might help... Good luck
Tanya UK.

First thing, can I just say you're such a loving and very sweet kind of sibling to your brother. I know you're really concern about your brother but I think cigarettes is one of the bad habits that adults/young adults that can't be avoided at this moment. Well... I think the best thing you can do is you yourself tell your brother how you feel every time you see him smoke, (since you said that he won't listen to your parents) maybe this is now the right time for you to have courage to say that you are really concern for him smoking. Maybe this time to you as a younger bro. he'll listen. You could ask him out for a brother-to-brother bonding and little by little you can open up to him that you really are concern and scared for his health and tell him how much you love him and you don't want him to lose early that's why you want him to quit from smoking. Or you could just tell him every day the bad effects of cigarettes in the body even if he gets mad for convincing him real hard. Until he finally decides to give it up. I'm pretty sure your brother will soon understand and will stop from smoking. Hope this helps! Best of Luck! Love, Shaine from Philippines.

I understand you care about your brother and want the best for him, but, as you already know, he is an adult: he's old enough to make his own decisions. Even though sometimes they might not be the best ones - from your point of view - that's up to him.
But the most important thing here is that you're worrying too much about a remote possibility. You said it yourself: your brother smokes moderately. Although it may be harmful, smoking doesn't necessarily imply developing cancer. There are a lot of people who smoke for years and, though their physical condition may not be the best, they are fine. My mum is an example of that: she was a smoker for 20 years. She really used to smoke A LOT and she's just fine.
The only thing you can ask your brother is not to smoke indoors or while you are nearby. Cigarette smoke is annoying, not to mention the smell that sticks to your hair and clothes. I'm sure he will respect that request. Don't worry about him smoking a lot outside your home. People who smoke a lot, smoke a lot everywhere. They are never moderate.
Love from Argentina. Noelia.

Have a peaceful and loving attitude, tell him how you feel and how it is hurting not only him but the loved ones around him. tell him how there are so many better things in life and help him to find something he enjoys more than smoking. Malachi.

Here's the thing you can't make him stop.
He is the one that has to make the decision.
The only thing you can do is to say that your really worried about him.
And that you want to help him. Don't be scared to tell him how you feel when you see those commercials.
Maybe even show him that you made this email to The Oracle. Because you just want to help him.
I don't think he will ignore you, at certain points he will think about what you said.
And he might realise how unhealthy it is and you are worried about him.
Greetings, Luc.

So, your brother can't stop smoking and you're troubled in looking for a way out? If it comes about cigarettes, then progress is the answer.
People mostly chose to smoke with a reason. It's not about that he's in his 20s or anything, there is a high probability that he's having a major problem and he decided to keep it. Try to talk more with him, share stories and thoughts about it. Then, ask him to stop. This can be the hardest part but like I said above, progress is the main solution here. Slowly but surely I'm very certain that he'll stop smoking!
Now, regarding your brother's age, the longer your brother stays with his habit the aftermath will be even more painful in the future.
Wish everything the best for you, your family, and especially your brother!
Cheers, Josh.


I happen to have a friend who smokes. I talked to him about it and asked him what made him start, and tried to understand what makes him so attached to it. Some people are attached to cigarettes because of the physical moves they make when smoking, (i.e, holding the cigarette, blowing out the smoke, etc.), for others it's, of course, the nicotine. Try to talk to him and don't be afraid, fear is 50% of failure all the time. Approach him gently and in a friendly manner. Sit him down and talk about it as much as he likes. Don't lead the conversation, make him do that. Just try to understand what it is that's making him this way. You also have to get the help of someone he is really close to, like his girlfriend or best friend. Make them also talk to him. I'm sure with all your effort you will get him to at least cut down. Remember, its a journey of patience and support. You're an amazing sibling. Solaf.

As a previous smoker myself, I recently quit a year ago, it makes it MUCH harder when you have family harassing you about quitting. My mom harassed me every time she saw me. I know that family only does it because they care, but from personal experience, it only makes it worse for the person who is smoking. The best thing that a family member can do is bet there to support them. The only time that quitting smoking will be successful is if the person really wants to quit. This is my FOURTH attempt to quit, and the longest time I have gone without going back to it. I smoked from the time I was 15 to 32. It's not easy so when that day comes that your brother does want to quit smoking he will need lots of support and understanding, especially if he has a bump and goes back to smoking. It may not happen the first time or the second. What people don't get is that it's not as easy as you think it is. Just please try to support your brother as much as you can. Rosalie.

First off, I think it's nice that you want to help your brother out and I understand you want him to do the healthy thing and stop smoking. But in the end it's his own decision. As you said he's in his twenties, so you can't make him stop or help him stop if he doesn't want to. My dad used to smoke a lot too, until we took him to the 'Body Worlds Exhibition' one day. Where, amongst other things, they show you the difference between a smokers and non-smokers lung. It scared the living daylights out of him and he stopped smoking the next day. Maybe you could take your brother there sometime? Good luck! Amanda.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



September 12, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE? As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply. ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 18 September.

I have been through a lot of depressing stuff lately, a lot has been going wrong in my life. I don't know who I am anymore, and my personality has changed for the worse. I've been really depressed. My school life is terrible, my grades are going downhill rapidly, and I don't get on with my family, I'm the odd one out. All my friends have said they hate me now, after a false rumor was spread about me. I only ever let my feelings out in my writing and drawing, as well as when I play my guitar. I love all of Coldplay's songs, they really express how I feel a lot of the time. You see, I had a boyfriend, secretly, but my parents found out about it and are preventing me from seeing him again. I didn't get to say goodbye, or even explain why I'm not talking to him, it was all so sudden. I'm scared of what he thinks of me, but I couldn't help it. I miss him a lot in my life, he was the only person who understood me. Do you have any encouraging thoughts for me? Thank you.
Aubrey, Australia.


Look forward to reading your replies.
The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



September 5, 2014 / submitted by Tatiana, Indonesia
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #183
Is anything possible?

There are things in life that are out of my hands but I can honestly say that I live with a positive mental attitude that subscribes to believing that yes, anything is possible.
I tend to only set myself achievable goals. I don't set them too high. To others, they may seem out of reach - it's all relative.
I might want to have a book published, run a 3-minute mile, invent something, learn how to play guitar, run a marathon, travel the world. All currently possible (not at the same time).
However, it is possible that I could go to the moon but realistically it isn't going to happen. It's also possible I could win the lottery but I can't make that happen.
I am realistic in my capabilities and expectations.
Whatever I set out to do, I don't do it with a negative, pessimistic approach - that wouldn't get me anywhere. If I want something I go in with determination and work towards it.
Is anything possible? In theory yes, but in practice it doesn't seem to work out like that. I think we should all believe it is and strive towards making it so.
Over to you.

You aren't alone in wondering this. I often ask myself the same thing.
I know I have a dream in life, but how do I reach it? Here I am sitting outside a classroom before lecture, wondering why I'm here. Is this really what I want? Am I doing what it takes to achieve my dreams? Maybe or maybe not.
We often get caught up in the logistics of life and miss out. The world may tell you that your dream is too crazy or impossible. You can't be something without doing this or doing that. However, even though it may sound cheesy, all you have to do is believe.
The most powerful tool you have in living your dreams, is believing that you can. With enough motivation and drive, anything is possible. Sometimes you may feel like the whole world is against you and you're taking a leap of faith into a bottomless chasm, but trust me when I say that you can do it. Jeremy.


Is Anything Possible ?
I think...YES.
You might say everyone has different opportunities because of where you come from, how much money you have etc.
But I think if you really believe in yourself and if you have sth. you believe in, a dream, a goal. I think you can reach it, no matter what.
Think positive, be patient, work hard. Let time work.
I think then you are on your way that anything is possible, even if you reach your goal crabwise and yes, it
will be hard sometimes.
You have to follow what you believe in (Chris said it once). Maren.

I think mostly anything you desire in your heart is possible, but things related to science and logic, somethings cannot be possible there.
For example with a desire in your heart, I love someone in the UK who is about 4 years older than I am and is raised upon a different religion than I am (I don't believe in the religion my family has tried to raise me upon). He doesn't realise I love him, but I do. It's possible to feel a connection of love online, yes. When it comes to dreams, goals, and love anything is possible.
Now for when we talk about science and logic, somethings are not possible. Such as trying to create a flying pig, or trying to breed a cat and a plant together. It just cannot happen like that.
When I first saw the True Love video, I cried at the end. I realised the message of the video and it was very touching. When most people see the quote "Anything Is Possible" they think about goals and dreams, they don't think about science and logic. Kara.


The old jokes goes "anyone who says nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door," but I think that, truly, there is more to it. Many feats thought to be impossible in the past have been proven to be possible as the people who worked long and hard broke records. A four minute mile was thought to be an impossible running time, but Roger Bannister did it in 1954. People speculated that it was impossible for man-made objects to go faster than the speed sound, but Charles Yeager shattered that barrier in 1947. Each limitation we put on ourselves may someday be laughed at as technology improves and humans rethink any task and push for it harder. Certain things are theoretically impossible, such as going faster than the speed of light, but there are conflicting theories, and who can say which is right until each is proven or disproven? Even "crazy" ideas may be proven possible some day, that the things we took for fact were misunderstood. Eric.

Perhaps.
If you want to know if you can fly or live to a million years or count all the stars in the universe then no. However, I would not count these things as the true things of worth in this world and so I believe that anything worth anything is possible.
It is possible to love, possible to feel gratitude, possible to smile and make others smile, possible to understand and learn and see and dream and possible to be happy.
Possibilities in this universe are endless, and so, if you have faith and a hint of creativity - anything is indeed, possible.
However, I deem it unhealthy to ponder these things. Instead, you should aim for what you wish to achieve and not think to much about it. The world is an amazing place and there is so much out there.
Don't be afraid to dream or reach for things once deemed too high.
Just don't forget to smile.
Paige, Australia.


Of course! Anything is possible if you just believe in it. The very example is Coldplay themselves. I mean, look at them now. I know that, including them even before, they are just these normal dudes who wish to share their music in the world. And now they did. Because I know they believed that everything is possible! Now. People look up to them and to their music. But of course not just only them. Most all people though. Including most famous ones like. Nelson Mandela or MLK they just believed in their virtues and now they made history. I mean, all I really want to say is. Nothing is really impossible in this world. Not if you have a positive outlook in life and I believed that's the secret to success! You know, it's just like when you are taking a board exams or applying for your dream job or an aspiring musician model actor etc. If you will just persevere on something or anything that you wish you want. Then anything is possible! It's just Easy to Please. Love, Shaine from Philippines. xxo

My thoughts on if anything is possible is yes. If we put our minds to it anything is possible. We sometimes forget that we live in a magical place. Anything is possible.
Love to everyone! Rosalie.


Of course anything is possible! Well, as long as you don't wait for it to come alone. If you work hard to achieve your goals you will get them. All you need to do is to trust in your strengths and recognize your weaknesses. Those are your guides to complete your plans. Moreover, your dreams should have positive feelings. The one that has more significance in my life is optimism. It keeps me looking for what I wish even in the most difficult moments. When there is optimism and hope around me anything is possible! Life is not that easy, nor that difficult. The True Love video clearly shows that. Just try your best and you'll succeed. There is a Mexican astronaut who wanted to work in the NASA and after his 12th attempt to apply for the job he was accepted. So, after this story, don't you believe anything is possible? Because I do! Best wishes, Isabel, Mexico.

I could tell you tales of wonderful things or worrying woes. I wish life to be fantastic even when it is mind numbingly normal. Even when I doubt, I must believe that anything is possible. Because if nothing was, there would be nothing. And yet, there is so much everything, we don't even know what everything is. I cannot limit my life to my self doubt and lack of understanding, or it will have been the most boring life to have lived of all. Hope is the color of life. I think it is the need for hope that makes us really ask if anything is indeed possible.
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." Roald Dahl.
The answer is yes!
Branwen.


Yes, I think it is. If you really believe in something, want it so much, think of it every day and write it down, then some day it will be true. Maybe in ways you not have thought of or can't imagine. Just be honest and be yourself. Positive feelings/thoughts will make your dream/dreams come true. Be brave and go outside your comfort zone, remember you only live once. The sky is the limit.
Love, Ann-Sofie.

Yes anything is possible, as long as you keep the faith in it, don't listen to People Who don't believe in you but listen to your own heart and if it don't works the first time try it again. Got a broken time in my past, the most People don't believe in me when I was a little kid and what Hurts me the most was that my father don't got the faith in me (I was 6 years old) my mom she always believe in me and thanks to her I believe that anything is possible! Greetzz, Marianne.

Everything is possible, and not all of it may happen with you.
You can wish anything to be possible, dream it, or work towards it. Your possibilities can be endless. The law of attraction says that every positive and negative events in your life are attracted by you. Your own perspective on life and your own view of the world will bring attract similar people and life events.
If you are a realist, anything is possible, yet everything is not in your control.
If you are an optimist, anything is possible.
How do you view your world, your heart and yourself?
Everyday is filled with endless possibilities. Everyday is a new book to be written.
Best to you, Julie.

Well, I'll say yes. I'll say it because I think that believing it alone can open a world of opportunities and experiences that are hard to even dream of. Of course there are some things out of your control, and its important to accept those for what they are. But those things can be both good and bad. So why go through life without hope? Especially when what happens is tragedy. You want to put your best foot forward. So even when you do come across things that are out of your control, you know you did your part by keeping your heart open. It's the only way to heal and the only way to grow. Love, Darem.

"Anything is possible". When I first saw this, it got me thinking. Is this true ? Well, I believe it is. One should just be optimistic and do whatever it takes to achieve a dream. With great efforts and hard work, everything can be doable. I'm myself from a country where science and research are not really developed. I kept working, never gave up and now I'm doing a master of science in one of France's greatest colleges. "Nobody said it was easy", but don't surrender, don't give up on your dreams and only then, even if you don't reach your goal, you'll be glad of what you did. Of course I have other dreams, "questions of science do not speak as loud as my heart": I'm 22 and have no experience at all but I have faith in true love and Thanks to the True Love video, I'm sure that someday I'll find this one person with whom I can share my life and Coldplay's love.
It's really crazy how a band can change your life, take off all your negative thoughts and replace them with high hopes instead.
Saad, Morocco.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



September 5, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 11 September.

How can I help my older brother stop smoking? He has been smoking for about 3 years and does it moderately at home. I've told my parents and they have tried to make him stop but since he is in his twenties they can't make him do anything. I find lighters and stuff when I go into his room, but I'm too scared to do anything or confront him about it. And whenever I see those commercials with lung cancer patients... I just want to help him. Thanks. Benny, USA.

Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



August 29, 2014 / submitted by Maria, Venezuela
Q.  TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #182
What would you do if someone cheated on you? On one hand I think it would be
childish to take revenge, but on the other it would be impossible not to want to.
Einstein said that the intelligent people are the ones who ignore, but how could you ignore that?

This is an interesting question even if hypothetical to (hopefully) many. Revenge isn't an accepting or forgiving action. If you intend to stay with the person it's obviously not a good idea to plot or exact revenge.
Once trust has been betrayed it's hard to get it back. That will take time and there are bound to be frustrations. I would struggle to give someone a second chance but if I did, three strikes and you're out for sure. Once I could maybe forgive but if with a serial cheater, I would respect myself more than they did by cutting loose.
Personally - and I'm pretty sure this has happened to me, despite denials - I prefer to keep revenge fantasies in my head and that's probably the best place for them!
It's like you say, it's justifiable to want to and yes, hard to ignore but that doesn't mean it's the best response.
In fact, revenge isn't healthy. You may believe it's deserved and your right to or that it will make you feel better but is it really worth it?
Yes, it will make you look childish and bitter. Surely it's better to look mature and resigned?
There may be screaming, tears, questions and all manner of unpleasantries but all that's exhausting and can't be good for you internally.
Obviously all that's easier said than done; adignified response is always best if at all possible.
Hold your head high with decorum in the knowledge that you are the bigger person.
In private you can fall apart for a while and by all means have those little daydreams about what you'd like to do.
The best revenge is to move on and have a wonderful life. Who needs cheats and liars?
Over to you.

I personally think revenge is no good. Believe me, cheaters already suffer. They let down people who really care about them and don't consider that we love them. I don't know if you're talking about cheating in love or in friendship. I experienced the second one. An old friend had told our best friend that he was in love with her. I had no idea for over a year and he acted just fine with me. After I discovered that, I decided to let go the two of them. And it was the best decision really. A year later, he told me that he regrets everything he has done and that I'm the best friend he could ever have... Anyway, of course I couldn't forgive him but at least, I feel I dealt with it wisely and that a revenge would have made things worse.
So, whether it's love or friendship, you just have to remember that you're awesome and he/she is not. And that's enough.
One last thing, whenever I feel this rage inside me I would just listen to AROBTTH and it calms me down.
Saad, Morocco.


If someone cheated on me, I'd confront the person and ask to know why they did it. Yes, revenge will most likely be on my mind, but i do not believe that revenge is the best way to handle the situation. I say forget those who forget you. In the moment, your significant other failed to remember you. I would get rid of everything in my life that reminded me of them. Start fresh. I'd hang out with family and friends to help keep them off my mind. Don't let that person wiggle their way into your life, because if they cheated on you once, they'll do it again. Don't let someone negatively affect your life because of a mistake they made. You don't need anyone who doesn't need you. Erika.

I believe that the best reaction to someone who has cheated is to move on (I think this term is more suitable than "ignore" - you just can't ignore situations like these). I believe that revenge is never the right answer, because, obviously, you would do as wrong as the other person - if your moral codes tell you that cheating is wrong, why would you do the same? Besides, revenge wouldn't take you anywhere: you'd be "even", for sure, but would it fix your heart? Would you be happy again? Absolutely not; in fact, that would only extend your grief. So, in my opinion, if the relationship can no longer be saved (which happens the most), all you can do is move on, and set yourself free from what is causing you pain. Not only you may teach a lesson to the cheater, but you will also learn from it, and apply that lesson on further relationships. Then, you may even forgive that person, depending, of course, on the circumstances, but that's up to you. Always follow your heart, no matter what. Good luck. Love, Ana.

If you're in a relationship it should be based on trust. If someone cheats on you, well, you shouldn't just ignore it, because this solves nothing. Neither does revenge, even though you might want to take one. But think about it, it could cause more problems between you and your partner. I think the best solution is to talk to that person, because no revenge could do what words can. If it hurt you, say it, if you're mad, let them know. Don't let any of it be unspoken. Ask them to tell you the truth and discuss it together. You deserve to be respected and to be able to trust the person you're in a relationship with. Quince, Croatia.

If someone cheated on me I wouldn't get revenge, it's unnecessary. karma will get them, they'll be with someone they really think they love and they'll be left broken-hearted when they find out they'd been cheated on. So why waste your time and possible embarrass yourself for just a little bit of revenge? Just try to forget and move on with your life and be happy once again, you'll find somebody else that you can be with forever and it will be worth not getting revenge. Treating people kindly and respectively is the way to live and if they don't follow that then that's their problem and they will pay soon enough. Jordan.

I think when you loved and trust(ed) someone that cheated on you, you can't just ignore it.
I do think you can learn from these colorful things that life throws at you.
I can't decide on what you should do, but i do advice to not ignore it.
Maybe listen, singalong, grunge or playback to music.
Or talk about it with friends or family.
I do think that could help.
Greetings, Luc.

I know that it's very difficult. I have been married for almost 15 years. 5 years ago my husband had cheated on me. He was extremely close to leaving me for another woman. We seemed to work though it but let me tell you. It's NOT easy. I never sought revenge, that wouldn't make anything better. Would only make it worse.
I think it depends on how much you're willing to work on things to move past what had happened. I'm in a sticky situation myself.
Wishing you the best of luck.
xoxo Rosalie.


Maybe, Einstein was right. why would waste your time to a person like that? I mean if I were you I'll just probably wish him the best and worst in the world! Well.. mostly worst because of what he did. But then, instead focus on yourself more. maybe treat yourself a reward to a salon because finally you two are no longer together and you are now free from stress! Or try focusing on brand new things like adventure or yoga or stuff that will make you feel good. But the most important thing is that your family and friends are there in your rough times, maybe this is the time that you need to hang with them more often. Remember there's so many fish in the sea. And maybe the person that cheats on you is not the person who is destined for you. But you know someday you will find a person who will love you more, more than you! You just have to believe in Magic. :)
Hope this helps! Love lots, Shaine from Manila, Philippines. xxo

Maria, I think the way people treat you badly says a lot about themselves and nothing about you !!
You should not give back what you were given.
Just smile and walk away. Sounds impossible, but please try. You will feel better.
This may be the biggest pain you can give to those kind of people.
Maren.


I don't believe Einstein meant to ignore the emotion, but to look at it from another perspective.
If you did truly bond with another human being who betrayed you, you are now forced to rethink your position in the relationship. Is it worth investing more time and effort?
You must definitely look inward, and assess why this happened. If you believe it may have been your fault, an alternative response would have been to communicate honestly and openly with your partner. Giving someone their own bitter medicine is not a whole or healthy response. It doesn't serve the greater good, but just perpetuates the pain. For every unkindness we experience from someone else, you can be sure that the universe will correct it. "The universe lets no debt go unpaid."
Therefore, concentrate on healing from this pain, and do your best not to put yourself in that type of a position again. Find where the source of the problem may lie, and turn up the volume so that you can hear or see it clearly. Then, sit with the pain till you resolve it, so that you never have to experience it again. When we identify our pain at the source, we become aware and conscious, and can then heal.
You are meant to give love, be love and receive love. That is the true purpose of humankind's journey. And perhaps this was a lesson to store in your memory for your future relationships, and to be grateful when the next partner is loyal. Frances.

You're angry, hurt and wanting to make the other person feel badly. Don't do it. Dig deep and believe it not, forgive them for their shortcomings and move on. It may take a while for you to heal and that's okay. The person who cheated on you and disrespected you? They're not worth the time in your thoughts or your energies. You're a better person and you deserve someone who will cherish you. Take the time, enjoy your life, and mend your broken heart. There's someone out there just waiting for you to walk into their lives.
Be well. Best to you, Julie.


You can't ignore when someone cheats on you. It's a disrespectful attitude from the person you are with and it hurts a LOT. But I don't think taking revenge would be a good thing for you to do.
First of all, you should clarify the situation. Did your partner cheat only once or it was something common for them to do? Why did they do it: because you two were having trouble in your relationship and they made a stupid mistake, or because they wanted to have fun with someone else and didn't care about you at all?
If it was the first case, maybe you two could work things out after a while (if both of you are willing to give the relationship a second chance and work hard to do that). But if it was the second case, don't waste your time and move on.
When someone hurts you like that, wanting to take revenge is a completely natural reaction. But you would be doing something reprehensible too and would be wasting your time and mental energy on something that WON'T BRING YOU PEACE. Taking revenge will only expose you to situations that will hurt you more.
The only thing you can do to feel better, if you decide to break up or already did, is giving yourself as much time as you need to heal (and your family and friends will support you along the way).
Love from Argentina. Noelia.

To quote Confucius "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves". Revenge is never the answer. I'm not saying you should ignore what happened but you definitely shouldn't lower yourself to the level of the person who cheated on you. Personally I'd have a good talk with this person and immediately end my relationship with him. I know its tough when someone cheats on you, but try to remember that this person isn't worth your time and affection if he finds it necessary to see someone else behind your back! Good luck. Amanda

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.



August 29, 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
Q.  WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

This week I have chosen a question referring to the True Love video's postscript.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to theoracle@coldplay.com before midnight Thursday 4 September.

Is anything possible?
Tatiana, Indonesia.


Look forward to reading your replies.

The Oracle.

Please email your replies with TEAM ORACLE in the subject line to theoracle@coldplay.com
Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.



SEARCH: