22 March 2013 / submitted by Matthew, New Zealand
Had a big argument with my friend about views on gay marriage and not sure if we will be able to get on from now. Only feel comfortable talking to the almighty Oracle. How do we move on?
We all have views, beliefs, morals, truths and opinions. They are not always shared by those close to us. We have to decide whether we want to accept people for who they are despite the differences.
Many of us are friends with people who are from different cultural backgrounds. The same can be said of race, religion, sex and age. Sometimes those beliefs are held so strong that relationships can be strained. We can run into trouble if we can't respect the right to have a different opinion.
This isn't a case of who is right or wrong - though you don't mention what your view is - it's about your friendship. I am for and would like to think in 2013, the world could catch up with and embrace the changes, but sadly it's never that simple. That doesn't mean I won't be friends with anyone who thinks the opposite to me.
People can be very judgmental but it shouldn't be necessary to force your viewpoint on to anyone else. Debates are all well and good, as is putting a good case across for what you believe in but it doesn't mean you will ever come to the same conclusion so it's knowing when/if to back off.
If you feel that your view is right and your friend's is wrong, you could agree to disagree and make a pact never to discuss it again. If you can't do that your friendship is in jeopardy and you may have to assess how true that friendship is.
Over to you.

Surely, your friend also doesn’t want to lose your friendship. If he wants to, he is no real friend.
So maybe just phone him and invite him to your house. Don’t mention your argument with any word. Just talk a bit, drink something and try to have a good time. Hopefully, you’ll be able to forget everything and move on normally then. Yours, Jule.

You've got to ask yourself what's holding you back from being friends and address it. Is it your friend's views? Do you think they hate you now? Do you not think things will be the same between you now?
The two things you have to remember is that, as Bono said, you only need to agree with someone on one thing to get along. And secondly, time is a great healer. This only has to be a couple of weeks, even.
Wait a couple of weeks, then maybe send your friend a link to something cool on Facebook. Just start a conversation about something you both have in common, and you'll remember why you were friends in the first place. Mark.

It’s not clear if it was concerning you both as a couple - or were there just two different opinions clashing about this subject in generally? In that first case I’d say every couple has to find out if or when a marriage would be the right thing or not and it’s not unusual or a point of no return having a controversy about this.
About the other thing - I assume that’s what the problem is: It is your own decision with whom you want to be friend with or not. If some people have views in questions of principles which are absolutely not compatible to yours, you still can be polite and respectful, but it can ban them from a friendship with you.
Now aside from the romantic aspects, marriage exists as a religious idea, but it is also a profane and legal institution of spending a life together. To spend a life together, to care or being responsible for each other is not a question of biology or gender, but of maturity. The last one I would be doubtful about, when your friend can’t handle with a disagreement of opinions. Probably he has to learn a lot, maybe he can start with asking childless couples how they do think about relationship and marriage. Even adopted children rather would grow up in a peaceful same-gender family than in a disastrous violent hetero one. I hope things will turn out well for you. L.Q.

I think it depends on how strong your opinions are. If one or both of you feel really strongly about it, your relationship will probably suffer. If you think your friendship is more important than how you feel about gay marriage, you could probably just work it out and accept your differences. Just avoid the subject and everything would eventually be back to normal (although I don't suggest this as it's probably not healthy). However in subjects like these, morals are often questioned, making it hard to move on from if you think they're bad people. If that's the case, its important to remember that its better to just be honest with yourself and not ignore it. You choose the people you're close to and you also set standards for them. Try not to be too upset, though. What separates you from one person, might bring you closer to another. Hope this helps. Love, Darem.

So, I think that besides the arguments and the fights that you can have with your friends, it should be easy to get over them. I mean, if he's a really good friend of yours you cannot just walk away from him. That's what I'd do if I was you: I'd see if we can talk about the thing without arguing about it, talking and sharing ideas in the most democratic and calm way possible, and then if you can't find a resolution and the problem still doesn't disappear, I suggest you to forget about that. If you're really attached to him and you don't want to lose him go, just talk about the issue anymore. Just let the night give you advice, then maybe the next morning you'll see everything more simple than it looks! Letizia, Rome.

It's sad to think that ANYONE argues about gay marriage. I mean, c'mon, what on earth is anyone's problem with it? I couldn't be friends with someone who can't accept gay marriage because I would wonder deep down if they are homophobic and that is something I can not and will not tolerate. Mike.

My friend is gay and I love her no matter what. However, I don't really agree with gay marriage. A civil partnership is fine. This question made me ask myself why I don't agree and I think I am just stuck in traditional values from growing up with religious parents. That said, I don't see many marriages that look any good so maybe all marriages should be ditched! Portia.

Thanks to all those who replied to this week’s question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

22 March 2013 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom
When I answer questions of a personal nature, readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.
ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to before midnight Thursday 28th March.

Hey Oracle! I just want to ask: what can be done if you're always bugged by your mind with the query: "Where is really my rightful place in this world?" It's like it's the question that always get into me because of the drastic turn out of events (e.g. One day, I'm with my friends, next day I feel very alienated) I really don't know what to do. Vieve, Philippines.

Look forward to seeing your replies.
The Oracle
Please email your replies to

21 March 2013 / submitted by Lorelei, United States of America
Q.  I have heard from a lot of people that the boys are taking a break for a couple of years. If so, how long is the break going to be and when do you think there is going to be another album or tour?
Although I understand people are anxious for news and perhaps even mild panic sets in at the thought of no new music for a while yet I wonder why this question comes up so much when we look at the discography of the band:
Parachutes 2000
X&Y 2005
Viva 2008
MX 2011

You can see from this that the band have always had 2-3 years between albums so however long this "break" is, I can't see it being any longer. It's not a break per se as much as being off the radar.

21 March 2013 / submitted by Safa, France
Q.  I assume the answer is obvious to everybody (or not because..well, I'm asking it !) as no one ever asked this : Do you like Coldplay ? And if so when/how did you start liking them ? Is it before you got your job on this website ? :)
Much love from France ! xx
I think it would almost be an impossible to task to work for a band I did not like. Like is putting it mildly - I LOVE Coldplay. I've loved them from the first time I heard them and yes, that was a long time before I worked for them.

20 March 2013 / submitted by Bobbie aka MetalGrannie, United States of America
Q.  I'm a grandmother (meaning old lady) who absolutely loves Coldplay. I have all their albums downloaded to my Zune (yes, I bought a Zune and I love it) and have a Coldplay playlist which is always on and playing, although there are 78 gigs worth of music on my 120 gig player. I even sleep with Coldplay on. Is there somewhere I can find who wrote the lyrics and the music to the songs? I especially love Things That I Don't Understand. Thanks!
All the albums have credits on the sleeve; Coldplay (mainly Chris) write all their own lyrics and music but there are a few songs that credit other writers such as Jon Hopkins. There has also been occasion where the band have used a riff, hook or similar and credit has also gone to the source.
This isn't meant to be a comprehensive list but some examples of artists among those credited are Kraftwerk (Talk), Ritmo De La Noche (Every Teardrop), Sigur Ros (Princess of China).
By the way, just because you're a grandmother does not make you an old lady! You sound young at heart to me.

20 March 2013 / submitted by Beth, United Kingdom
Q.  Hey Oracle:) I heard a rumor that Coldplay will be playing at Glastonbury this year, is it true?
The thing with Glastonbury is there are always going to be rumours of who will be playing every year. I don't know who starts them but as we played the last one (2011)...
The line-up is only announced when it's sold out - which it is - but apart from Emily Eavis confirming that Daft Punk are not performing there's been no other official word yet. Before that starts a frenzy of folk thinking Coldplay are going to appear, that's how rumours could start! As you know, the band are not touring and the MX tour is over. They're not planning on playing at any festivals.

19 March 2013 / submitted by Nate, United States of America
Q.  Hello Oracle, I was wondering how Jonny gets that great sound on his guitar? It sound incredible! And where can I get a book or tabs for how Jonny plays songs and riffs exactly the way he plays them? Thanks see ya!
Many great guitarists have a distinctive sound: Clapton, Prince, Hendrix & our very own Buckland.
There are many components to creating that sound. The guitarist first and foremost and then their choice of guitar, the effects pedals, techniques and even the amp. Guitarists can choose to play with or without distortion, capo, whammy bar, pick (plectrum) and slides. All of these are contributing factors.

We don't have guitar tabs books - though there are some available online, as well as tabs sites but I'd hate to recommend any that aren't accurate.
There are also YouTube videos of how to play Coldplay songs - unofficial - but probably worth a look.

19 March 2013 / submitted by John, United States of America
Q.  The girl I was about to date moved to another country and now a bunch of girls want me to ask them out. and it's driving me insane they are like forcing me and I can't think clearly anymore how do you know you found the one ?
Ooh get you Mr. Popular! Look, you can't be forced to ask anyone out so forget all about that. As for finding "the one", if you're a regular reader you'll know I don't believe there is necessarily a "one" for life but that's my opinion.
I do believe in falling in love (however long it lasts) and for that all I will say is you will just know. So stop worrying and listen to your gut and heart rather than any other pressures you're feeling from the girls who by the sounds of it are throwing themselves at your feet.

18 March 2013 / submitted by Martina, Italy
Q.  Almighty Oracle good evening!
Can you please give us some news about Chris running the LA Marathon?? Did he succeed to complete the marathon? Is he still alive?? Please answer now is what we need!!

Thank you!
Chris joined the Lupus Awareness Campaign but he didn't participate in the LA Marathon. Fit as he is, he hasn't been training for it plus he was back in the UK.

18 March 2013 / submitted by Justin, United States of America
Q.  A week or so earlier, you stated that the pictures/videos for the out of place video was due on march 20. the web site says April 2nd. Which is right, because if it's the latter, my pictures will be much better (in a sense...) and better for the clip. thanks
- Justin
At the time I answered it, I got the date from Oxfam's website. They must have extended it to the 2nd April. Always go off what they say, after all it's their competition.